my heart is with you

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-02-14T13:05:00

2005-02-14T21:07:37Z

i guess im not going to graces, i dont think she really cares if im her friend, just that im the only person out my friends that are nice to her...wtf? now ive got nothing to fucking do on the only day that i have any time to do things with my friends, cuz todays the only day i dont have to be with the band...i guess ill fucking drive somewhere or something.

********************edit******************

i didnt mean for this post to be misunderstood...

this weekend was kinda pissing me off cuz my fucking band mates couldnt stop arguing at practice and CJ kept saying "no no, we'll do good we dont need to go over that shit" but he fucked hella shit up by dropping his pick so many times in chico, and then we just werent recepted well in shingle springs...to be honest ive been kinda depressed lately, thats probably why ive been posting on this lately.

my close friend danny is paranoid cuz all these stupid bitches from sacto keep saying he's gonna get jumped for sending some kid a virus, when he couldnt have cuz he just got a new computer when it happened, and ive been having some trouble with family, my dad is supposed to die, im only 17, and hes been in the hospital for about 4-5 of those 17 years. My best friend chris of 4 years cant walk cuz of a recent knee injury and ive been having to take care of him.

Ive been really depressed lately, probably because i havent written anything in a long time.

my dad has to use a machine to help him breathe and part of him dying is the moisture is living his body, his skin feels like paper and he has to wear gauze so it wont snag on something and come off, his leg is literally coming apart at the seams *his injured leg* even though most of my life hes beat me or told me im nothing and worthless i cant help but feel bad while i watch him die.

i guess i have been coming off as pissed off lately, im sorry grace for that stupid post, it really isnt your fault.

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-02-13T16:28:00

2005-02-14T00:40:15Z

my band has a show tonight, for all you people that missed the house show and said you would see us next time and missed the chico show and missed us that time too, this is your last chance before we head down to the bay.

Shingle Springs Com. Center, show starts at 5 and we play 5th or something, its a tsunami benefit show, its costs 6 or 8 bux, i forget, and donations for the tsunami benefit are allowed too.

dont be an asshole people need our help.

Line Up:

fuck, i dunno what the line up is, shit..you expect me to know? im the bassist...

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-02-10T20:22:00

2005-02-11T04:34:58Z

www.mothersagainstmaddox.cjb.net

help people eliminate the first ammendment, fuck the basis of our great country! The Bill of Rights should be upheld but only after we infringe upon the first ammendment, infact, sign our petition against freedom of speech. Maddox is the most hateful person ever. dont sue us with claims of libel blah blah bullshit! just sign our petition cuz everyone cares about online petitions, our group is not big enough or powerful enough, and we dont have the ovaries to go door to door to actually support our cause. blah blah blah blah.

also visit our site to end video game addiction, let us control what your children do and put an end to free enterprize

Also we have an organization, mothers against drunk driving, we are against all those people that go out and get drunk so they can drive, as if no one else is, this petition will alter physics (if passed) and stop the ability to open car doors and drive while drunk. we are stuck in the 1920's

our most popular site is, wearestupidbitches.com

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-02-07T14:37:00

2005-02-07T22:47:54Z

I've realized that i shouldn't make friends anymore, the ones i have now are perfect even tho sometimes jokes hurt for some reason i am always reminded that they still care and love me and i will still care and love for them

love, spinner...or sam, whatever is your fancy

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-31T15:03:00

2005-01-31T23:05:30Z

I have a new email address, email me my old one if you want it eyesxbleeding@hotmail.com

"we're left with little time to question the motives of the damned"

new changes: i have a mohawk.

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-24T17:34:00

2005-01-25T01:38:24Z

OMWTGF!!

Spawn is a cool movie..sooooooo my band has a show Febuary 12th...in CHICO!!!!!

okaaaaayyy, aanyyywwaaaayyssssssssssssssss uuummmm...i forgot what i was gonna say

*shows off his moves*

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-23T13:44:00

2005-01-23T21:44:49Z

I love alice in wonderland

Which character from Alice in Wonderland Are You?

Cheshire Cat

Cheshire cat confuses people for his amusement, but still, very funny!

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe.

Third Chorus!

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-21T07:58:00

2005-01-21T16:01:03Z

I got me some new kicks yO~~~~~~
Circa
AL202 black and pink

black shoes with cool skulls on the side, pink and black laces. and they're comfy

the school mac's are annoying

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-20T17:32:00

2005-01-21T01:32:59Z

I need new shoes!! raaahhhhh mine have a worn out soul....im gonna go take a shower.

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-20T15:04:00

2005-01-20T23:07:11Z

Which Halo character are you?

Master Chief

You are a take charge sort of person. Adaptable to any situation and a quick thinker, you can solve any problem with your brain, fists, or a gun...

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

because i really am a video game skin

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-19T19:19:00

2005-01-20T03:40:10Z

Ever since i detached myself from the internet i think i may have become uncultured and republican. Before i got friends and stuff to do, i used to be stuck to the computer, posting my dumb opinion on forums to share with people i barely knew as if they were interested. I used to d/l music and 5p33|< 1337 cuz i was sooo cool, and i was liberal as fuck, and then i was like nooo, im patriotic and i dont go on the internet anymore.

But when i got to Government i took this 50 question test thing and an extra 25 question thing and i tested nearly down the middle, but i noticed that my answers were republican to stupid things, and democratic to important things. after a day in government i was forced into republican because dem. was taken up, and then after doing the homework and watching videos i realized that for alot of things im dem. and then for almost all of the republican things, i just end up taking republican cuz i dont care about the issue and i end up in the republican seat.

republicans are big on christianity. and its a big issue with putting religious things in calssrooms. I know my religious beliefs and i dont let stupid things like classroom posters or teachers ill only know for a year out of my life effect something like my life beliefs, so i really do not care, and that puts me into the republican side, cuz the issue is always christianity, not something like Jedi. cuz that would be fucking sick, i'd be part of the Jedi religion...fuck yeah......and then i could choke people i dont like, or mess with some dumb slut across the room, like, poke them with a pencil in the eye....fuck yeah......

star wars is awesome, cuz i am laaaaaame!!!
i figure that Highschool is too soon for MOST kids to decide whether or not they're conservitive or liberal, but i think its the time they get confronted with which path they'll try first.
I think i might actually be more liberal than conservative....i dunno, fuuuuck, im confused, but i think im starting to realize that i really am more dem. than rep. i just tend to be a bit patriotic

Fuck all yo' asses, im going Jedi

fuckers....

now look at these cool pics, cuz i know that if i put these up you wont read what i wrote, HAHA!!!

sportin the ninja hoodie......dog

holy fuck, i look retarded...please dont respond to that, im a sad panda

coolest pin evah~~~ courtesy of the ever graceful Grace

my hairs getting long....

me realizing the new Hulk movie sucks...

The Real Me...

aahhh! omg! photoshop killed my baby!

eyesxbleeding @ 2005-01-01T05:46:00

2005-01-01T13:47:26Z

sooooooo....hmmmm

ive been playing Need for Speed Underground 2 alot alot alot but i cant fucking find Shadow Hearts which i really want to play, i need to find something better to do than video games over and over

for some reason ive really been wanting to talk to Grace. I mean, i like talking to her cuz shes my friend but ive been wanting to talk to her extra lately, i just wanna talk to her
ummm, i have nothing to do.

my back has been hurting alot more than usual lately, fuuuck.......its so fucked up..
also migraines on and off..
i think its cuz im full of life and my head wants to explode

ive been feeling the need to seclude myself lately...not many people i want to talk to. i think that getting my license is just gonna make shit worse, i dont wanna drive unless its far away, i wanna go to L.A. or the east coast and stay there for a long time, somewhere that isnt here, somewhere that is just somewhere else, i wanna take someone to but i dont know exactly who yet. someone that could appreciate it, not cuz they say so, not cuz they have "reasons" to run away, someone that shares this feeling, but i dont know who...escape

aaaaaaahhhh

2004-12-21T02:15:18Z

my fucking neon street glow tubes broke, because i closed my car door on one of them, wtf. so fucking gay.

and i missed getting my picture changed at the DMV today so i have to go tomorrow.

fuuuuckin weeaaak god damnit, i think its karma? i dunno

i want fucking next week to come so i can go play a show! wOOt

um, short posts...maybe ill make it longer...

hmmmm, cant wait to get my license....at the place i get gas, its 1.91 for premium, kicks ass..hmmm what else should i type? howabout goodbye

laterz.

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-12-18T21:28:00

2004-12-19T05:34:41Z

look i even fucking updated the layout! wooo im so cool

so i heard that my band is supposed to play at midnight on the night of our show, uuumm, fuuuck, i either need to get some skyrocket or change my sleep patterns again! sounds good, ill do both.

soooo....alot of shit happened recently.umm...it kinda sucked alot of ass and ive been listening to HIM, Tool, APC, and Opeth alot more, even tho its hard for me to listen to Opeth more...

played Star Wars: Battlefront, kicked ass, watched the Special Edition of Return of the King, Played Lord of The Rings: Battle for middle Earth. holy fuck, everything is a battle these days.

laterz homez..

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-12-16T17:14:00

2004-12-17T01:14:57Z

whoa holy shit wtf im posting!!!!

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-11-01T18:17:00

2004-11-02T03:17:58Z

Cattle Decapitation soon!!! ffffffuck yeah bitchez! and next week = 4 day weekend.

i saw Saw and it was cool? yeah i think it was.

um, im sick and stayed home from school tomorrow

the end.

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-10-31T12:11:00

2004-10-31T21:14:44Z

wtf?

nehemiah and bleeding through are not fucking scremo, i dont even listen to bleeding through anymore. Scremo is stupid sad lyrics put to a shitty metal sound, and my band is scremo? w/e i guess murder is a subjkect used by scremo lyricists and scremo bands in general now.

Alicia told me i appear scremo cuz i wear nehemiah and bleeding through shirts, i have 1 bleeding through shirt and i gave it to danny. i got rid of my original blue one a long ass time ago, and nehemiah is no where near scremo. i attempted to correct alicia but it seems i came off angry, which is odd, cuz i wasnt. i think that the biggest problem is that over the internet you can't see body language or hear the tone of voice, so she took it as an angry retorc when it wanst.

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-10-17T18:41:00

2004-10-18T01:44:03Z

ssssssssoooooooooooooooo..........

today i played Varsity and JV for hockey,

i come home

and theres two envelopes for me, one a birthday card for me from my aunt and uncle and 2 a notification of publication of one of my poems and notification of some contest they entered me in o.O

well anyways, thats fucking awesome that my stuff is getting published.

uuummmmmm time for a shower bitchez!!!

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-10-12T21:19:00

2004-10-13T04:20:32Z

lol, people have already forgotten when my birfday is.

anyways, i havent posted in a while, and i thought i should. ummm, hella my friends are starting to skate again, and im gonna prolly go skating with them soon. uummmm....im dying my hair soon! black and red!!!!

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-09-26T16:20:00

2004-09-27T00:05:06Z

i missed dannys birthday party!!! fucking adult ed and hockey, i had to come straight home and do chores and shit then go straight to our game, which we lost, anyways. im gonna go get him his present soon.

so yea, i got my voters guide for 2004 finally, even my parents dont have them. i dont know what it is about this politic shit, but ever since bush became president without be voted in by the majority of the people ive been fed up with the bullshit and have gotten deeper into politics. i mention this because the elections are coming up and because, like ive stated, i got my voters guide. after watching addresses to the public and hearing almost every speech that barely president bush has given ive come to the conclusion that i dont like him. and then came the i wanna go to mars bullshit. the only person i could see doing that is another jfk, but gwb is no jfk, but then again jfk did get shot in the head and bush hasnt....yet

anyways

Its true that i was unaware of howard dean dropping out of the race, and when my friends brought up the election i tried to tell them that howard dean was still running, but they shot that back in my face and i am totally discredited because of that. i obviously know nothing about any of the politics because i didnt know howard dean wasnt running

i got in an arguement with grace about it today and she signed off.

THIS POST ISNT AN ATTACK TOWARDS ANYONE SPECIFIC

i shouldnt have gotten in an arguement with grace about anything, it was cuz of my political beliefs but i was just mad that she would go and tell me i knew nothing about anything in the eletction aspect of politics. cuz i do, i know more about it than my parents and they're registered independents. which is what ill become if i dont go liberal republican.

Democratic Party:
John Kerry:Occupation: US Senator
Lives in, Boston Massachusettes
Age 60 (holy living fuck)
known for: biggest chin ever

Running Mate:
John Edwards
Occupation:US Senator
Lives in: Raleigh, Nor Cal
Age:51
known for: hosting a show called "crossing over with john edwards"

Republican Party:
George Bush:
Occupation: US President
Lives in, Washington DC (holy fuck, thats surprising, more suprising news, blue skies tomorrow)
Age: 58
Known for: special relations to monkeys

Runing Mate:
Dick Cheney (i wont even comment on that one)
Occupation: Vice President
Lives in: Washington DC (another shocker)
Age: 63 (whoa there, mr kerry's got some competition)
known for: not much, cuz no ones ever heard anything from him

heres one i dont even have to say anything of my own to make it funnier.

Peace And Freedom Party
Leonard Peltier
Occupation: Artist and Author
Lives in: Leavenworth, Kansas
Age: 60

"I have been caged for over 20 years for a crime i did not commit. I will stop the policies which opress people of color and those who think differently or try to change things.

I am a Native American. I have survived poverty, discrimination and genocidal policies. I want all people to have education, employment, housing and health care. We need equal rights, liberty and justice for all."

Priorities:
abolish the federal death penatly and realease all political prisoners

Make the US government abide by all its treaties with Natice Americans and other nations

Remove all US troops from other countries such as iraq and Afghanistan

now there are actually some views this guy has that i really do support

people will probably comment with mean remarks to me and correct my spelling and grammar. *is prepared to accept it!*

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-09-22T21:51:00

2004-09-23T04:54:20Z

hmmm....lifes been really hard lately, ive been trying to tough it out, and keep on going, but its hard. i always come home and look in the mirror and feel alone. i look at myself and its like im looking at emptiness...into emptiness. The feeling i get when i look at myself is the same feeling i get when ive forgot something. Have i strayed from who i am? or am i basing who i used to be as my true self. ive been telling myself that you are only who you really are in the present. because you cant be who you are in the past or future, cuz you only livingly exist in the present. But im starting to think that no one really strays from who they really are, that they only work towards who they are. and that there are some people that go forward, but not to who they are. Im scared that thats what is happening to me. That ill become some miss matched man. a wanderer that has nothing but a guitar full of the wrong strings.

sometimes, when i lay on my bed with christine and look at her, when her back is to me, and see the back of her head and her hair. i feel really good, and when she turns around it reminds me of the world. and i forget everything in the world except for her and i hug her and feel like im holding on to everything i have to life for. maybe she is everything i have to live for.

i can always lose or gain money, skills, relationships. i can die at any minute, or escape death and live never knowing i shouldve died. But no matter what happens in any instance, whether im up or down, or just escaping death day by day i'll still have love, and if i hold onto christine and hug her as much as i can and look into her eyes i will feel more. i do feel more everything, i feel more alive and like im flying. and i can't always do everything, but ill do the best i can and i'll come up with something! no matter what i can do, ill always try....

i think i realllllly need a hug from christine right now....................

i love christine soo much, then when she isnt around, i cry on the inside

2004-09-23T04:47:36Z

My lj wedding by chynafox
username
age
city
you will marry	necogirlmeowza
flower girl	ihumplovatos
best man	_c0urtney_
bridesmaid	johnny_666
you will have your last fling with	mortikai
registrar	_nehemiah
secretly wants to marry you themself	cheaptelegram
date of the wedding	May 7, 2027
number of times you do it on your wedding night	55

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I miss christine so much, shes seeing Muse right now and im really happy for her. : ) i love that little girl :p

soooooo, hockey tryouts tomorrow, i played a game with davids old coach's team tonight. it was awesome, but my ankles are rawr from being a dumbass and forgetting my long sox, and all i have is a helmet, i should'be practiced with it to get used to it. fuck. oh well.

and since i dont have any elbow pads when i fell i fucked up my elbow :p

holy crap

2004-09-17T04:15:45Z

Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispnite
LJ Username
Favorite animal
You invite over...
They bring...
You talk about...
You end up...	getting married

Quiz created with MemeGen!

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-09-10T16:04:00

2004-09-10T23:04:33Z

What Makes You Sexy? by eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part Is	Your Nose
Special Talents Are	Everything (Multi-talented)

Quiz created with MemeGen!

eyesxbleeding @ 2004-09-01T19:27:00

2004-09-02T04:42:56Z

lets start off with a nasty random phrase, SHIT FETISH!!!!

theres this dude that my sisters been talking to for a while, and hes been getting really scary, he sends her stuff all the time, and just a bit ago he was really scaring me on the phone, he was scaring ME. i dunno, alot of you out there prolly think im a pussy, but if someone was trying to do something to my sister i would kill them. she thinks i hate her and stuff, but i don't, even though she tries to get my friends to dislike me. she thinks that shes successfull and they wont tell me what she tells them. w/e. back to the point, well this dude is like 24 i think, and hes all godly and scary cuz hes fucking HUGE. anyways, i think if it persists another day then im gonna tell someone at the school about it or something.

<3 I FEEL LIKE A BROTHER